Sunday, 25 January 2015

I'm back!

Firstly I probably should reintroduce myself. It's been a long time, but lot has happened. I'm New Mama, Claire. I'm 31 and have a now 2 year old son! (Wow time flies), referred to as little Roo. 
I've previously blogged about my pregnancy, labour, the first 3 months he had colic and reflux, and his first milestones such as teething, sitting, rolling and crawling. At 6 months we moved from London, where I was born and bred and lived my first 30 years! To the lovely kent countryside, best move we ever made. I went back to work, commuting to London, a week after moving when Roo was 7 months. It was pretty tough. Along with the sleepless nights and the job was very pressurised. I decided to look for more local jobs in kent. Although I took a huge paycut, I found a good job locally. This gave me a much better lifestyle balance, less stress. Roo was 14 months and I decided to put him in nursery near my new job. He'd previously been looked after my mum, mother in law & aunt. So it was tough and he cried ALOT! As with most children, his immunity was to build up and he had several months of coughs, colds, conjunctivitis, tonsillitis etc. I had noticed from age 1,that Roo wasn't hitting his milestones as before, and put it down to where he'd been unwell. It doesnt bother me if he is a little slower than others and we shouldn't compare, but my main concern is if there is an underlying issue causing these delays. His balance became wobbly, it's not that he'd shake, but almost wobble and he began falling over a lot when crawling, he'd been crawling since 8 months, so now nearing 18 months I thought it was odd. We took him to the gp, for conjunctivitis, and she checked him over. On listening to his chest she found a heart murmur. I thought it strange that it'd never been noticed before. He had a heart scan Echo and it revealed two small holes in his heart, which should have closed immediately after birth by themselves, but they never. They were tiny and shouldn't cause problems so just need a yearly checkup. The doctor was concerned he wasn't walking at 18 months and referred him for further review. And so here we are aged 2. In the last six months, he had had tests for all sorts, from muscular dystrophy, chromosome abnormalities and metabolic diseases. Thankfully everything has come back normal so far. But yet he still can't walk or stand alone, he can cruise and has just started to use a Zimmer frame type walker. He has hypermobility & hypotonia, low muscle tone, for which his having physio. He now has global development delay and will need speech therapy. He also has a squint in his eye, sometimes his eyes turn in. This week he will have the last diagnostic test to see if there actually is any cause for all of this, it's an MRI brain scan. We've waited months for this and now the week is finally here. I'm a little nervous, my baby has to have under general anaesthetic, with the holes in his heart it isn't as straight forward and seeing him put to sleep will be heartbreaking. I know it is for the best, but I'm also a little worried what the results will show. It's the not knowing that's hardest. Should "something" show up then we will deal with it. And i hope it comes back all clear, but then there will be no more tests and we won't know if there is any cause for his delays, squint & holes. So I try to be courageous, but I am a worrier. Luckily my husband is the ying to my yang and balances me out with his positivity. So the last few years really have been a roller coaster, having a baby, moving county, changing careers and endless hospital appointments! Here's hoping 2015 brings all we wish for. 
I adore my son, his beautiful, kind, funny & clever and I love being his mama. But honestly life has its challenges and sometimes it's hard. I always think it could be worse and I know there are others in the world going through a much tougher time. 
Hence reinstating my blog, I don't know if anyone will read it, but for me it's good to get my feelings out, vent, share proud moments and hopefully others may share their own experiences too. 
I will be blogging more about hypermobility too, and I'm sure the terrible twos and other stuff, But for now tata for now (TTFN) x

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Breast feeding bribes

So in the news today the government has decided if women breastfeed they will be rewarded with vouchers.
I am all for breast feeding, breast is best after all. But it is not for everyone, for whatever reason, if you choose not to that doesn't make you a bad mum.  We shouldn't be bribed or rewarded one way or another for or not bread feeding.
For the mums that may not have considered breast feeding before,just because they will now get vouchers, will this make the do it? Surely it's about  ore education is needed I the benefits of breastfeeding.
What about the mums who intend to breastfeed, but can't for health issues, how bad will they feel.
How can we proof these mums have breast-fed. And surely the vouchers are coming out of the taxpayers money

Again. I feel it should be personal choice, either you choose to breastfeed or you don't. No voucher or incentives should be used.

Parenting styles

Firstly let me apologise for not blogging, I've been tweeting!
So on #thismorning there was a debate between peaches geldof and Katie Hopkins.
#attachmentparenting being the topic of choice.
When I was pregnant, I read Gina ford, I was super organised and felt my baby would slot into my routine. I was materialistic. I thought I was prepared for motherhood how wrong was I!?
When baby h arrived my world and my views changed! I didn't plan so much!I had a loose routine! I fed on demand. I coslept (still do). There any many controversial aspects to this, one being sids my baby cousin died of SIDS at 4 months old whilst I was pregnant. I did much reading and research on SIDS. Although it is not advised, I felt my baby was most protected next to me, where I consciously knew he was there, I could feel his breathing and temperature. I baby wore in a sling,  I like closeness and affection. I tried to breast feed for 5 days but couldn't manager after this. I like to be responsive to be my babies needs. I don't like seeing him cry. I tried several methods, one being the cry it out routine, and it didn't work for me.
Therefore my parenting style, doesn't make me one or another, we shouldn't be pigeonholed into a category. In the early days I was easily swayed and listened to other peoples opinions too much, 19 months later I feel confident in my decisions and instincts.  We all want what is best for our child, regardless of religion, social standing, education, finances. We should do what we want to do to bring our a babies up to be well grounded, confident, loved, happy and healthy beings.

Thursday, 3 October 2013

Reminiscing on my maternity leave

I officially returned to work this week after maternity leave. My little H is almost 9 months now. It got me feeling nostalgic and reminiscing on our time. His been here for almost as long as I was pregnant, it has flown by, but as the same time it feels like his been here forever and I couldn't imagine life without him. 
H was quite big when he was born, 9lb 2oz, and it didn't seem like he was a tiny newborn for long. 
The first few weeks were hard, the 2 hourly night-feeds, nappy changing cycle. It was quite different from the Gina Ford plan i devised whilst pregnant. When i told family & friends of our daily plan they laughed. It frustrated, as im such an organised person, if course it would work. But actually when H arrived, it was all on-demand, and still is!
I was recovering from labour and H developed colic & reflux. 
But it went by so so fast. H was growing & developing perfectly. We would cuddle & play together. 
We were very active and did alot, lots of play dates, library play groups, ball pits, parks, walks, feeding the ducks, picnics, seaside trips, a visit to Buckingham palace & the shard. I believe that nurture develops the mind 
He had his first food at 5 months and sat up. 
At 6 months he said mum. 
We moved house at 7 months, he started crawling & got 3 bottom teeth. 
And now here we are at 8 months. I wouldn't change a single moment. I love him so much. I can't believe he will be 1 in 3 months. He is a happy, sociable, playful little soul and I'm so proud to be his mummy. 
Now I'm back to work 3 days a week, I miss him but I feel safe in the knowledge he is cared for by family. I can get on and focus at work, and earn my money to give H the best. That's why I work. 

Friday, 27 September 2013

Tgi friday

Been a busy week.. H had his first cold, poor thing, which myself & hubs also got (at least he shares).
Work work work. Commute commute commute
Now tis Friday evening, hubs has weekend off of work so is on daddy duty tonight, and I'm sat in my hot bubble bath, music & vino & blogging... Bliss!?..